| The College Tour of Ultimate Doom! |
[Sep. 5th, 2007|07:38 pm] |
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The belated retelling of my shiny college tour last week!
The College Tour of Ultimate Doom - part one (days one and two)
Day One I could tell was not going to be a great thing from the very beginning. First off, I woke up at 9 am with my Mutti practically sitting on me. Second off, when she noticed that I was half-lucid, she attacked my face and began trying to pop some of my zits. Fun? Not. I managed to fight her off and feed the ravenous animals before they decided to eat my still-empty bag.
Of course, about an hour after breakfast, I threw up, due to an overloading of lactose in my system. I'd had a large Silver Diner milkshake and three or four glasses of milk the day before, and had cream cheese with my bagel. Normally, each one on its own would do nothing to me at all. All combined, though...well, you can see where being nearly lactose intolerant does not come in handy.
Set off at around two-thirty after cleaning the house and packing. Then mum insisted on visiting Kate, which, although it was not a social call and we really did need to get on the road, took her about twenty minutes. Adults, honestly. Then we got some gas, so we actually didn't get on the road 'til three. Better and better, folks.
There is only one person who understands me on this trip. His name is Jay and he is made out of resin. He is also easily placed in most overhead storage compartments, being only 43 cm high. Anyway, I think he'll save my sanity more than anything.
Immediately mum decided to flout the Mapquest directions, and we ended up on the Baltimore-Washington Parkway. That wasted a good thirty minutes. Once we decided to stick to the directions, no matter what, we were on our way.
Ho hum, pig's bum. Boring, really. Lots of tolls. Since I was the only one with accessible cash on hand, I paid out eleven dollars in tolls today that mum has promised to pay me back for. Whee.
Eating pretzel sticks. Took one from Jay, said I didn't want him getting fat. Mum laughed.
Delaware. Boring. Moving on (albeit slooooooooooowly)!
Pennsylvania. Less boring, still somewhat on the iffy side, but less boring than Delaware by any stretch of the imagination. I think dead caterpillars are less boring than Delaware. After a bit of chaos and direction-yelling, we finally arrived at the home of my mom's ex-husband's sister. We are still very good friends with her ex-husband's family, and her ex-husband as well (though he lives in Alabama); they're actually like our family. Ordered pizza, talked about movies, was allergic to resident dogs (greyhounds, which tend to flare up my slight dog allergy like nobody's business, but are actually quite adorable), drew things with little nine-year-old "cousin" Gabriella (who I taught to draw two years ago, whee). GG wanted a resin doll as soon as she saw Alec, which I thought was nifty. Her mum, Laura, is afraid of dolls, but actually thinks Jay is pretty cool. Great success!
Slept on slowest-inflating air mattress ever of deflatable justice. No, seriously, I woke up and it was half-deflated. Clutching doll all night; woke up to find his headcap and wig off, but face-up still intact. Thank goodness.
Off at ten in the a.m. again, to Philly for the first college visit of the trip. Had a bit of minor drama with the Pennsylvania Turnpike, but it was all shipshape in the end. Paid 20 bucks for parking at a garage near the University of Pennsylvania. We tried to go to the Museum of Archaeology and Anthropology to look at the Amarna exhibit, but wouldn't you know it - closed on Mondays. D'oh!
Had tuna sandwiches. I expressed interest in going to U of P. Used internet at a Mac by admissions to check on my schedule. Yes, I will need a time-turner this year. Then it was tromp, tromp, tromp back to College Hall for the information session, which was held in the most frigid of giant bloody classrooms in the history of the Caribbean. Tour time! Our guide was actually from Bethesda, MD (Great success!), so that was cool. Campus is very nice, very pretty, very...vibrant. It was alive. I can definitely see myself there - shall apply, no question!
When the tour finished, we tromped back to the car and drove to the Franklin Institute for the King Tut exhibit. More minor drama with the Philadelphia traffic laws, but it was resolved relatively quickly.
Everything in that bloody city is named after Ben Frankin, trufx and for srsly.
Tut exhibit = marvy, I enjoyed it very much. Some of the pieces mum hadn't even seen in Cairo, like the ceremonial dagger Tut was buried with. Got pressie for Sara, necklace for me, and mum got magnets.
Time for a nutritious dinner of hot dogs and mustard-slathered pretzels. Yum yum. Then it was off to the IMAX theater of amazing epicness to watch this movie about mummies. The IMAX theater they have there is on so much crack - it's not just a huge screen, it's a huge screen projected on a giant dome thing. Crazy stuff, but quite cool. Anyway, the movie thing was narrated by Christopher Lee, which was so much win and pickles. Popped Jay's head out of my bag so he could watch the movie, and also because I am starting to go insane, a bit.
At eight p.m., we started the drive up to Princeton. When we reached New Jersey, I commented to mum that we're in "New Jersey, the Land of El's!" She didn't seem to get it. Oh well. I'll just keep a look out for escaped mental patients tonight. Javert can have my bed, I'll sleep on the floor.
Oh. Speaking of sleeping. We're in some crap Red Roof Inn that supposedly has wireless internet (and there was much more drama with the New Jersey road system, but we will skip over that as it is very boring and drama-filled). T-Mobile charges for Wi-Fi at its hotspots. Ungroovy. I suppose I shall have to wait until I can hit the business center at the hotel we're staying at tomorrow night to check up on my various ventures. Hope there's no more monsters attacking Alec, Armand, and Javert.
Back to the subject of the hotel. Like everything else in the Land of El's, it is total crap in a hat. I even promised myself I wouldn't make a Tony Soprano joke, but I did, so, so much for that. Oh. Also, the bathroom door cannot be opened from the inside, which I found out the hard way. Luckily mum was outside reading. Oh, and turning on the light in the bathroom also engages some sort of giant beast in the ceiling that makes loud noises and is supposed to be a vent but isn't. V. annoying, but there you are. It is Jersey, and Jersey is crap.
I kind of feel sorry for New Jersey, although I loathe it. I mean, I poke fun at Delaware, and I don't think the First State has a point (aside from reminding us that it was The First State In The Union, So Suck On That, Maryland), but Jersey? Ecch. This is my second time in Jersey - both times, so far, have sucked. I hear the Princeton campus is beautiful - it had damn well better be. New Jersey is like the armpit of America. I am sorry, Jersey, but you just plain suck. Bad. Your roads suck, your hotels suck, your not failing at proper road planning sucks, your signs suck, your inability to make people think you don't suck sucks.
Jersey has nothing going for it, which is why I feel kind of sorry for it. Except for maybe that movie Garden State and The Sopranos, but The Sopranos is over now so nobody gives two short flying rat's paws about New Jersey except as that hell-hole you have to pass through on your way to New York. That's. About. It.
Shall look for mental institutions on the ride to Boston tomorrow. We do still have most of New Jersey to go through, after all. Maybe I can bust a few suckers out of the Institute of Hate and Suffering? At least Alec won't catch fire on a daily basis then. Probably.
...maybe not. Fire-magnet.
location: Land of El's, aka Craptown, aka New Jersey, aka...think up your own disparaging epithet.
music: the a/c (SO DAMN LOUD)
mood: worn-out, tired, deadlike, and really dreading the drive to Boston tomorrow.
Part Two - Princeton, Harvard, MIT, Yale, home.
tues 23 august
princeton, nj
2:02 pm
Princeton's actually a bit of all right, my prior misgiings about Jersey aside. Too preppy, though. Slowly going mad from lack of webnets. D:
wed 29 august
ihop, cambridge, ma
8:34 am
Foof. Got to Massachusetts, the state of gay marriage, at about 7 pm last night. Went to a crap pub-type restaurant and had tasteless fish and chips. But, whatever. Weird dreams. Oh, and I'm rather cross with mum at the moment and I have no idea why. Damn college tour.
Harvard and MIT today - honestly, by the end of this charade I'll be able to recite the standard info sessions word for bloody word. Such is my glamorous life.
au bon pain, cambridge, ma
1:15 pm
Life is treble fabuloso and also possibly bon. Forevermore. I think I actually stand a chance of getting into Harvard, and, as a plus, our tour guide WAS Jon. Frsrs. He was even from Mass. and all! Also he set off my gaydar at 50 paces, which is important in a Real Live Jon.
1:25 pm
Got directions from this really dishy MIT policeman-officer who looked a bit like a younger version of Claire's dad from Heroes (though maybe it was the glasses). 35 minutes until MIT info session!
5w!ts, boston, ma
6:44 pm
About to go through this Tomb attraction thing. Looks like fun. MIT, not so much. It's nice, but too math-y, science-y for my tastes.
thurs 30 august
harvard square hotel
8:20 am
Sacre bloody bleu and our dear and fluffy lord Ra's tartan trousers, I just had the most stressful dreams. The first one was Landel's-themed, but instead of the characters in a mental hospital it was the muns in some abandoned industrial complex, but the muns had the powers of their characters. Which annoys me, now that I think about it, because I gave no thought to Dairine's wizardry. Anyway, most of us were in this big old circular room like a silo and being terrorized by the mods. I had transportation by latching onto the back of someone's cape as they were leaping around, using Alec's mad tenacity skillz. Anyway, I managed to fight my way to the exit, where an iPod stereo was playing. I changed the music, which upset the mods, so they swooped down on the stereo while I made a break for it, and also to get some music by David Arnold (for some reason). "Run for it, guys!" I remember yetlling, and then rushed headlong onto the next dream...
Now I was trying to get David Arnold music from Uncle Carlos. I don't remember much about this part, but when I came back to him he had been playing with Jay and broke him. I didn't notice until I picked him up, and then his finger fell off, and his ear was in two pieces, and then the rest of his fingers shattered...I was so distraught I woke up, and glanced to the side to find him.
He wasn't there.
I nearly had a nervy spaz - what if that dream was prophetic, what if he fell off the bed?
Thankfully, that was not the case, as he had merely rolled off his pillow and still had about an inch of bed remaining to him. I would take no more chances - I immediately grabbed him and wedged him in between the pillows. Take that, fate!
Then I had another, similarly disturbing dream that involved me somehow driving on an interstate from the passenger side, but once I got on the driver's side, I actually wasn't too bad. Something about Lebanese food. Anyway, it was all very scary bananas.
Back to PA!
the bronx
7:43 pm
New York traffic SUCKS.
fri august 31
pa turnpike
10:32 am
My nutritious breakfast:
1. A protein bar (lemon flavor)
2. Pretzel sticks
Still, we are on the road again, hopping to Philly and from there to jolly old home.
10:55 am
I am so wrong it's hilarious. But not really. We are lost in Pennsylvania!
There my journal ends. I liked Harvard and UPenn most of all, but Yale was pretty cool, too. Princeton was too preppy, and MIT...not so much. But still. Yay colleges!
First-week-of-school journal soon! |
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